Sex-Toy Banned In Cyprus

May 7th, 2007



Dear Mum,

I know this is an unusual topic for this particular organ, but when you’re enjoying a quiet cup of coffee and a bite to eat in CJ’s café in the centre of Larnaca, and you open the Cyprus Mail newspaper and read the following headline in large bold letters…

Vibrator Threat To National Security

…it does make you mildly curious!

It seems that the Ann Summers ‘Love Bug’ wireless sex toy has been banned from going on sale in Cyprus because the remote control interferes with military frequencies!

The article was nearly half a page, so the Cyprus Mail obviously figured that their readers would be very concerned about it. 

As a secret weapon though, the Love Bug’s not likely to be very effective, as it only has a maximum range of 6 metres. If you’re that close to the enemy, you might as well creep up behind him and whack him on the head with it.

Maybe I went to the wrong school or something, but I have to confess that it’s got me flummoxed. I’m having sleepless nights over this one! I even conducted my own investigation over the weekend and interrogated a few likely-looking suspects, but either they’ve all led as sheltered a life as I have, or they were too embarassed to admit that they knew the answer.

But will someone please tell me  –  why does a vibrator need a remote control…?

You got any idea, George?

'You got me there, buddy! But I'll order up 10,000 for our guys in Iraq anyways'


– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I bet this letter generates a few more hits on the site than the one about cherry blossom trees did!


Friday’s letter will probably be published on Thursday this week.


©MPB 07/May/2007


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