What A Dummy!

July 13th, 2007
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Dear Mum,

We’ve come a long way with beach attire in the last 100 years. This is what women were wearing c.1900. It would have weighed about 20lb (9kg) when wet!

I’ve often wondered how women these days get away with wearing nothing more than the briefest of thongs on a beach, which is after all a public place. If a woman was to walk into a museum dressed like that, she’d probably be arrested for indecent exposure  –  eventually!

But it seems that anything goes these days. So purely in the interests of campaigning for tighter moral standards, I’m keeping a careful eye on the situation.

And now that the summer’s in full swing, I go to the beach every day, sometimes twice a day, to swim in the clear, warm waters of the Mediterranean Sea, for the exercise and for the scenery. And I’m picking up a healthy-looking sun tan in the process. Impossible to avoid it.

The beach is about 7 minutes walk from my apartment. There are several possible routes I can take, so for security reasons I vary my route every day  –  you never know when there’s going to be a horde of beautiful, sex-starved women waiting to pounce on you. You get fed up with it after a while!

One of the routes takes me past a particular women’s clothes shop. The doors are always open and they must have the air-conditioning set quite low, because a lovely blast of icy cold air always hits me as I walk past. Very welcome on a hot day.

Incidentally, I’ve noticed in the last two or three weeks that most of the clothes and shoe shops in Larnaca are all having sales. I’m very surprised. Unlike the UK, the summer weather lasts until November here, and they’ve got the added bonus of the tourist trade. I wouldn’t have expected to see any sales until September.

Anyway, I walked past this particular women’s clothes shop the other day on my way to the beach, and stood in front of the doorway for a few seconds, enjoying that blast of cold air whilst looking at the window display.

Mannequin technology has come on a lot in recent years. I imagine that computers have had a lot to do with the design of them, and they certainly reflect the desirable contours that most men like in the female figure, and that most women presumably aspire to. I’m sure it’s all been researched very diligently.

pants.jpgI only mention this because my eye was caught by a pair of designer-torn jeans in the window which had a particularly pleasing shape to them. The mannequin was facing into the shop, so I was staring at the rear view. The jeans were hugging the mannequin perfectly. It looked very sexy.

Just as I was marvelling at the computer technology which had created this wonderful sight, and wondering if there are therapy groups for people who fancy mannequins, it turned round and looked at me.

She gave me the fright of my life! The girl must have realised that I’d thought she was a dummy and burst out laughing.

But I was the one left feeling like a dummy!

I licked my wounds and headed for the beach…

 

©MPB 13/July/2007

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